


When Confronted With a Problem, Hit It With A Hammer Until It Dies

by eerian_sadow



Series: Chocobo Races 2013-14 [3]
Category: Final Fantasy
Genre: Gen, Male white mage, chocobo races, chocobo races 2013, hammers, team dysfunction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-08
Updated: 2013-11-08
Packaged: 2017-12-31 20:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eerian_sadow/pseuds/eerian_sadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>White Mage gives Fighter a pep talk.  Sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Confronted With a Problem, Hit It With A Hammer Until It Dies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ukefied](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukefied/gifts).



> for the 2013 round of Chocobo Races over at ff_exchange.
> 
> prompt: found [here](http://ffex.org/unfilled_prompts/prompts.php?ao3_name=ukefied) (at the unfilled prompts database) and reads thusly: A MALE WHITE MAGE. FOR ONCE. Seriously, I don't care who he is or what he does or whom he does it with, but for the love of Moogles can we have a single male white wizard, like the good old days?
> 
> i tried for a bit of Old School 8-bit NES feel with this one, including 4 letter names and stilted speech patterns. dunno how well i hit that, but it was fun anyway. ^_^

He carried a hammer, the big silver kind that sent the lycanthropes running or knocked them dead to the ground before combat even really got started* and drove the Fighter crazy. Actually, he carried two--one for each hand--but he spent so much time casting that he needed the free hand.

The Thief liked them. More than once, they had been used to smash open a lock too rusted to pick or to break through a door they didn’t have time to use finesse on. The Black Mage appreciated what they could do, but he didn’t appreciate them. He preferred the silent, deadliness of his knives and daggers. Hammers were girl’s weapons, the Fighter said.

The White Mage simply nodded and did not argue. How could he, when he had known _several_ women in his order who had carried similar weapons and could wield them as well as he? They were not necessarily suited for women, as they took a great deal of upper body strength to swing properly--and if he was a smaller man he would certainly not be able to swing two at once--but through training and work they learned the right combat forms. Everything was a “girl’s weapon” with the right training.

It was also a “man’s weapon” and privately, the White Mage felt that the Fighter could shove his judgement up his arse.

“All right, Tehd.” The Fighter sighed. “I’ve seen you slaughter whole hoards of enemies on your own like this a hundred times now. _What_ are you doing that I’m not?”

“Aside from actually hitting things?” The Thief stage whispered.

“Brum hits things,” The Black Mage said. “Sometimes.”

“Thon, Regi, be kind. Brum hits when we need him to.” The White Mage did his best not to smirk at the truth of their words. “As for my combat success, I simply know how to use my weapon very, very well. Also, werewolves don’t stand much chance against silver, as you know.”

 

“Yeah, but…” The Fighter’s shoulders slumped. “You and those hammers make me look like a trainee. What have you got that I don’t?”

“Patience, practice and a steady hand.” The White Mage moved closer to their team leader. “And an eye for observation. I focus on the enemy in front of me, locate its weaknesses and strike. Then repeat as needed.”

“But what about the other enemies in the group? You’ll get destroyed if you ignore them.”

“On my own, yes. But there are four Warriors of Light, are there not?”

“I’m not a warrior,” The Thief quipped. “I’m a Sneaky Backstabber of Light.”

“Thank you, Thon,” The White Mage said dryly. “There are four of us in this mismatched group, are there not?”

“Yes,” The Fighter replied.

“And your teammates can do some of the watching for you. Even that pyromaniac Regi.” The White Mage smiled. “Trust us, focus on the enemy and strike. Repeat as needed.”

“Please forgive me,” The Fighter said. “I’m not used to having teammates, even now.

“I assure you, we are aware,” The Black Mage said.

“Pay Regi no mind. You will become comfortable with having partners in time.” The White Mage retrieved his second hammer and held it out to the Fighter. “And if Regi continues to be a problem, hit him with a hammer.”

“What?!” Two Warriors and one Sneaky Backstabber of Light laughed at their companion’s indignance, but the Fighter took the hammer from the White Mage.

**Author's Note:**

> * In Final Fantasy, silver did not actually do extra damage to werewolves. but it _should have_.


End file.
